The Value of Rejection

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Today I received another rejection. Most of the time, I’m pretty cool with those. I’m a writer; these come with the territory. I’ve gotten quite a few over the years, with enough acceptances to keep me encouraged and generally happy with the way my career is going.

Just not happy enough.

The truth is, my writing career is rather lackluster these days. I need to work harder – this part I know all too well. I have some open doors I can pursue, and I need to do a lot more study on my craft.

But this was the second rejection within the past week or so, and it dragged me lower than I expected. The first rejection was of the type I’ve received most of my writing life: “loved your work but can’t use this one.” The author of said rejection was VERY complementary, and I’m sure she intended to be supportive. Make no mistake, however.

A “no” is still a “no,” even when it’s pretty.

It’s also akin to being told, “Wow, you have such a great personality, but . . .” Which I’ve also heard a lot in my life.

The second rejection hit even harder, for some unexpected reasons, some of which are wrapped in my own inflated ego. It hurt, and I immediately went through a self-flagellation that would make a masochist proud, right down to wondering if I shouldn’t just give up writing and go work at MacDonald’s. But I got over it. After all, hard-hitting rejections have shoved me through the same pattern almost since I was 18.

After I get over the initial pain and disappointment of the rejection (and that happens no matter how lovely the rejection is packaged), I try to get past the self-pity attack that happens and move into a touch of anger. Because that’s what spurs me forward, determined to prove “them” wrong. Sometimes I do my best work following a rejection.

My high school band director used to say that a kick in the pants can often send you forward faster than a pat on the back. Rejection can, in fact, jumpstart you when you feel things have flattened out.

Of course, I also get spurred on by acceptance, too. There is value in both.

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