My new site is up and email is coming in. I got two requests for a proposal on Reclaiming Daisy Doe, and one went off (the other request came from an agent who asked me to wait a couple of weeks). All sunshine.

Today, I got my revision letter for CARLY.

Rain. LOTS of rain. Basically, I have to rip the story apart and start over. I have to re-write the beginning, the middle, and the end. Some subtle explanations have to be made skillfully blatant; other subtleties have to be deleted. And if the criticisms weren’t clear (and derogatory) enough, two books came with the letter so I could “see how it’s done.”

And I have two weeks to do it.

Thunderstorm. Why do I bother? Why not pull the book and just keep the day job? Go in a different direction? Go back to screenwriting? After all, it’s pretty clear that if the book hadn’t already been contracted, if it had been an over-the-transom submission, they never would have bought it.

I’m still chaffing. Sharply. But an afternoon of thinking and perspective later, I’m calmer. The yahoo writers loop for this line is frequently dotted with such complaints. Extensive revisions. They always, ALWAYS, shake us to our core and make us doubt our skills and our talent. Make us feel inferior.

In my case, I was rejected for years in the Christian marketplace as being too edgy, too sharp. Now, in writing for this line, I’ve pulled so far back that I’m now too soft and timid with my characters.

I suspect that what I need to do is start the novel that lives inside that’s dark and light, edgy and faith-filled, but in a way no one will ever publish. But that will let me write where I want to be. work on it in my down times, when other things – like quick, total revisions – aren’t on my plate.

In the meantime, if you haven’t read Geraldine Brooks’ Year of Wonders, do so as soon as you can. I just finished it, and found myself engaged and amazed. Reading her prose was like dipping your tongue into the most savory of wines, and it was the best ride I’ve had since I finished Dorothy Dunnett’s Checkmate.

The rest is a learning experience, and I have to set my mind to it.