Regaining Ground

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I took today off from work because Rachel’s school was out for in-service. But I was SOOO glad I did. I got up to feed Rach breakfast at the usual time, but by 7am, I had passed out again, and I slept hard, dreaming in the bizarre images usually only brought on by too much late-night yogurt. My crush was there, cutie that he is, but the main part of the dream had to do with manuevering through an innovative school, filled with small children. This is a slightly freaky dream for me, in that small children don’t really exist in my real world, except at a distance. Not that I have anything against children…I’m just never around any.

And, no, this has nothing to do with my abating baby fever, which slowly dissipated as 50 approached. It probably relates more to my reading of Debby’s book yesterday and the need I have to start over, now that I’m back from RT. Re-orient myself to my work and writing, as well as my house.

I’m a lousy house owner. I pay the bills, but the idea that owning would change my mind about things like paint, decorating, and plants turned out to be a sad delusion. The front yard (which is mowed, thankfully, by a service the Home Owners Association pays) still needs a lot of work. A late frost killed most of the new growth on the bushes and everything needs a trim and feeding. My interest in doing this varies from slight to non-existent. It’s turned into just one more chore I have to do.

I see a condo in my future. Or an apartment and a good mutual fund.

Still, I have to look deeper, find what it is that God has in store for me. I firmly believe that He put the drive for this house within me, and it’s been a stellar move for Rachel. So now I need to stop grousing and just do the work. After all, it’s NOT all about ME.

Which is also a good way to look at the work; the gift is not my own but one I need to cherish, respect, and share.

More later. Time to feed Rach, who is doing better and resting well.

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