Aging Recess

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I feel as if I’ve had a two-day recess, back when “recess” involved a bunch of kids running around a playground with bare supervision, no matter what the weather, so that when you returned to the schoolroom, grinning wildly and smelling strongly of a the sweat of a dozen of your closest friends, you were ALMOST ready to start work again. You were awake, at any rate.

I’ve slept more these past two days than I have in a month. Last night was odd, because I woke up twice, once needing an antacid. But Rachel even slept late AND she took a long nap. Tonight, she’s already showing signs that she’s ready for a new week. I’ve tackled some things I’ve let slide for awhile, and I have in my mind plans for others, which is a good change. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been so numb I barely made it through the day and was pretty dependent on others telling me what to do. No initiative whatsoever.

So…I feel like it’s a lesson I have to teach myself over and over, many times during my life. NOT (as you would think from these two blog entries) that rest is important to creativity as well as productivity. Intellectually, I know this. My lesson involves more of the ego:

Will of the mind does not overcome the needs of the body. Especially at my age.

Not sure where that myth comes from–the one that says your mind can win out over your body. Probably too many spy novels and James Bond films. But the harder you push, the more you THINK you can go without sleep, without mental rest, without good food, the more likely you are to…well…get cranky and make mistakes.

And I’ve been REALLY cranky lately. Just ask my colleagues. And we won’t get into that second part….

Truth is, I’ve never had a problem with age–or being the age that I am. Despite the way that I might dress sometimes or the music I enjoy, I have NO interest in being young again. That round was too hard the first time.

I AM, however, having a problem recognizing the effects of age on my body. I don’t mind sneaking up on the next milestone (in May I’ll be 50); I do mind that I can’t go for weeks on end with little sleep and bad food without turning into a sloppy mess with acid reflux.

Hmph. Maybe I’m still crankier than I thought….

We’ll see how I feel after the tax appointment tomorrow. I go to see Charles Parker (no kin to the saxophone player), CPA extraordinaire. He took me on as a client when I could barely pay him, much less the govt. He’s never let me down, and I really need him this year, with the freelance AND the job AND buying the house.

Fear of the IRS and aging – what a combo. Not much changes, however. In looking around my office just now, I spotted a GQ from 1986. Right next to the spiffy portrait of Harrison Ford (which explains why I have a 21-year-old men’s magazine in my office) is the headline: “How to Look Great at Any Age.”

Mr. Ford would have been about 44.

I think I’m going to go soak my feet and go to bed early…

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